What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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