I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
