glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize