just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
