when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
