4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you traded sex for a burrito?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
