You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
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