i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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