She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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