So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
