I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize