Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
