He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
