Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Also, beer. Big fan.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize