wakey wakey hands off snakey
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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