Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
