Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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