I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
