she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize