you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
