Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
