I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
