We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
