As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Don't tell me you're on acid again
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
