just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
