i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
