yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize