Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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