I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
