we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
