He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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