so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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