the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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