So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
