Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
