Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
