it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
