hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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