Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
