i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
