YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
