Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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