The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
