Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
