you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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