do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
