I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
