if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
