so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
