but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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