I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
