That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
