He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize