If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
