Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
