Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize