the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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