i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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