Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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