so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
