I wish I could punch you in the face.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
