Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
