I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
