I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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