I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
