well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
